Well, My RAH has been sober for 52 days now. He has been going to AA meetings daily...typically more than one meeting and I have been nothing but supportive. Although I started reading Codependent No More and I know without a doubt that I am codependent, I am doing my best to educate myself on how to change. RAH talks to me quite a bit about his recovery, sometimes more than others but when he says things like he does today, I don't know what to say. I don't want to cross that codependent line.
All started with a simple email to him while both at work. I said 'how are you today'. He responds 'not good...not good at all'. We go on to exchange emails for the next hour and he basically says that he has been working the program for a while now and he understands the principles 'in theory' but doesn't get how to apply him to his life. He looks in the mirror and hates himself, hates that he's gone all the time and doesn't see the kids, not happy with work or home life or life in general, hates that he still doesn't think before he speaks etc.and this gets him in trouble. All the stuff that he's struggled with for years. He said he's no better than when he was drinking. Obviously he is...he dealt with this AND addiction before. He's come a long way and I try to reassure him that he isn't going to 'get it' overnight but he needs to stick with it. He says he's sick of it all. I ended up feeling like I was trying to talk him off a ledge! I don't know why he feels so hopeless but he has always been very impatient and recovery is certainly going to take time. Not sure how to comfort him without telling him what to do!
Have you guys dealt with this or any RA out there that can give their input on what the right thing to do/not do is? I told him he might want to call his sponsor or a friend and he said he's too busy at work!
Peacegirl