We are in the first stages of baby steps. I have heard for the last 2 years that he has all the tools he needs because he *enjoyed* 20 years of sobriety. In 2009 he fell off the wagon and traded his 20 years of sobriety in for a drunk award. Those 20 years are gone, never to be celebrated again. They are just 20 years of his past that he can not add to. Those 20 years tell me he can do this because he has. He did it for himself.
I told him the other day he needed inpatient rehabilitation like the first time when he first found sobriety. He said no. I wasn't happy. Of course I wasn't. He said he would seek individual counseling and go to AA. That in and of itself is HUGE for him because he has always said, I have what I need to do this but in reality, he does not because he will not use those tools.
I went out on a limb and asked if individual counceling was enough, paired with AA in the alcohol forum and they have said, YES! If he WANTS it. Right now, him seeking counseling and surrendering to AA and his addiction to alcohol is enough for me, to back off a bit and say to myself, lets try this. If it doesn't work, we have more options if we need to explore them. He knows himself and his addiction better than me. He's been down this road by himself before. I am going to let him chose for himself because I can not control this and since he has decided to go to some form of treatment, I am not going to argue with it because he called, he made an appointment and he didn't sulk from it. I'm going to continue to stand beside him and walk into the unknown, whether it's the right or wrong way, where ever we end up, we will figure out if he made the right choice in the direction he chose for him as a person or not.
Time. It's all we have is time. One day at a time.