I feel so sad that everyone replied to this message, i read the responses, and i still drank today
I feel disgusted with myself...as i have for a long time when i drink nowadays. It isnt like when I was a teen and it would be fun. Its strange, when i used to drink every day I yearned for the time when I would be able to only drink on certain days, and now that Im here, I don't feel any less of an alcoholic. She knows I drank today, and it isn't an argument, she's done arguing. She just gets disappointed now and it shows in her facial expression
I've definitely read the responses, and Im Agnostic, but definitely spiritual, and I think Im gonna try the AA....it's next saturday at 8 and 11 pm...they call it saturday night live...and my girls christmas party is that day at 5 and i can go afterwards, but im scared again because its gonna be free unlimited alcohol
its like everytime i try to stop there is a roadblock
i got better from drinking everyday, but days like today make it so hard. i tried to hide my drinking today from her, but she isnt stupid, and now im stuck on the couch with beer left and i cant bring myself to pour it out
i really hate myself right now...Im a good guy, I dont mean to do this, but I just cant help myself