Hi Feelstuck,
just wanted to give you a bit of hope!! (i hope) day 12 and for the first time I feel back to normal (wotever normal is) by that i mean that I could get up today sort out my little boy, vacuum, clean kitchen etc and I don't feel that I've just climbed a mountain.. today for the first time I am happy to be clean (happy is an understatement) it's very early days for me but if i can hang onto the good times/ feelings and ride out the bad ones then I can make it... so can you
I know i won't feel as bad as I have done over the last few days so if i can get through them I can get through anything.
the mental cravings will come though I know this... so now I have to decide upon a plan and put it into action to avoid using/ slipping back into active addiction.
listen if i can do this so can you , I am wot was once referred to as the best liar in the world and the scummiest junkie i put heroin ahead of everything in my life including my son (on numerous occasions) I couldn't even quit for the entire length of my pregnancy only manging in my 3rd trimester to avoid my son being born a heroin addict ( being honest this was more because I didn't want anyone to know rather than for his welfare) I'm crying writing this because to actually admit that anywhere other than in my own head is horrible for me . nothing less than i deserve I think.
anyway hope the above reaches you and gives you some strength
One day at a time, sweet jesus.