My ex & split in July and I've been going through the same things... I am struggling in my head because there were so many good times and then so many really awful ones. I think it's difficult to forget someone when you have lots of memories, and nobody has come along to take their place. Being lonely is not always so much fun, so you think back to the person you used to be intimate with. Also for me the holidays have been really tough.
I had a lot of verbal abuse too and I've begun reading the book "Victory Over Verbal Abuse: A Healing Guide to Renewing Your Spirit and Reclaiming Your Life". I think something that happens as a result of the abuse is we begin to doubt and blame ourselves, maybe thinking we deserved some of it and it's our fault. Your self confidence can take an extreme hit. I've also been working with a therapist because I think I really need it now.
Also it has helped to stay focused on things I like to do, such as hobbies and such. I did try dating for a while but I wasn't feeling very positive about it all so I figured it was time to take a step back.
Hang in there...