Hi KRA,
If you read some of my posts I have gone and am going through much of the same thing you are.
There are two things that were suggested to me that have helped me along the way.
One was to write on a note and place it on my bathroom mirror so that I would see it first thing every morning:
"Every time I see her, talk to her, text her or contact her in any way I feel like crap.
Just for today, do I want to feel like crap?"
And now that we have been no contact for a while I was given this prayer:
If you want to get over a heartbreaking end to relationship with as much speed and as
little pain as possible, do this:
Every time she comes into your thoughts, pray as sincerely as you can for her highest good.
Period!
Do not try to define what her highest good is.
Ex: that she grows up or appreciates how good you were for her, or quits drinking, or leaves her new boyfriend and comes back to you.
You cannot know what her highest good is-only God knows that.
So by just praying "I wish for her highest good."
It allows you to let her go, and turn it over to the universe.
I know that these tools sound too simple to work.
But they really have helped me.
Along with Al Anon which has been a life saver.
Keep going back!
Good luck.