As you move through true sobriety, it really does get better. I still feel shame and guilt over my last couple of debacles, but it isn't incapacitating and I don't feel the need to drink to not feel it anymore. It has taken a lot of work. I still have amends to make. However, it has gotten easier to look at the woman in the mirror. She isn't so bad sober. In fact, I kinda like her. She isn't the neighborhood lush any longer and doesn't have to make up lies or hide from others' for fear of having to face judgement. One day, the weight won't be so heavy.