Had some great thoughtful responses here. Thankyou all very much.
I think any recovery method may be doomed from the outset as he doesn't see himself as 'recovering'.
For him, he's just stopped drinking, plain and simple. He didnt like the way he behaved when he was drunk, he had started feeling great remorse and shame, and he saw what it was doing to me and to us.
His stress and anger have always been there, just masked with alcohol for years. In fact my daughter mentioned just the other day how his shouting used to make her cry when she was little.
It's not new, but it is more evident sober and I guess it is a separate issue altogether to alcoholism.
But as for ditching him, that won't happen!
Things are generally really really good.
I just worry about the stress and anger building in him and want to help.
Thanks everyone x