That's why I had to let it go, ohno. I had so many of those terrible times - it was exhausting. Every time I drank it led me into danger and an unpredictable outcome. It was no longer fun or relaxing to drink - all it brought me was misery and shame.
Once you stop, you never have to go back to that awful place. You will rise above the things that have happened - a new life will replace that sad one. Glad you are talking about it here - hope it helps your anxiety.