Hi ohnonotagain - I'm sure there is not too many amongst us who hasn't had that feeling - in my opinion the worst feeling in the world - hide in fear and shame. WEll today you can make a decision to never have that happen to you again. I felt like you on July 31 after I had quite the evening - hoping neighbours didn't see me too!!!
Look we have an ego that feeds on fear and shame. But we also have another part of us that is not only longing for peace and love but IS peace and love. We all have a higher self that is virtuous. You can decide this day who you shall serve.
Rise up from your ashes ohno - grab hold of this new day and hold your head up and do what you need to do to get yourself back on track. Can you make it to some meetings? You'll find such commonality there - and a place you can share yourself and get support.
Good luck to you today