Originally Posted by
applecake 
I hope you'll cut me some slack here. When I deliberately chose to use the word "initial" before Big Plan I was trying to be forthright about the fact that I am having to regroup and start over.
Actually, from my experience, you've already done 95% of the work (trials and tribulations) of quitting for good. All you've got to do now is the "for good" part. You've suffered the agonizing consequences of drinking; you believe any more drinking is wrong for you; you've tasted the fruits of abstinence; and now all you have to do is guarantee it all with a Big Plan. Making the BP takes from ten seconds to a minute or so as the Abstinence Commitment Effect may sweep over you with an emotional rush, or give the feeling of a huge weight being lifted, or give you a whole new optimism when thinking about the future.
Honesty is the best policy, right? I get that in the truest form of RR, my Big Plan must not have really been a Big Plan since I only made it a little over a month.
To make it clear, you might better describe it as "...my
first quitting plan must not have really been a Big Plan..."
I tend to do better at all things in life if I have the opportunity to anticipate what I might be facing and prepare for it.
Of course, this is how we make our lives good.
I'd like to think I would have made it through those parties [without pouring alcohol in my mouth and swallowing it] if I'd walked in and all they had was wine and tap water,
I put in the "without pouring alcohol in my mouth and swallowing it" because that's what you mean in this sentence, but your Beast doesn't want you to declare the obvious - the simplicity of what it is you're choosing never to do again. There's absolutely NOTHING about pouring alcohol in your mouth and swallowing that YOU do not have ABSOLUTE control over.
Once I 'got' AVRT, I was actually grateful that the problem had to do with voluntarily ingesting substances. I cannot think of a 'problem' that is not so absolutely under my own control - keeping a few specific chemical compounds out of my bloodstream. WOW! Thank you FATE!
Then IT says "But what about that DEEP PLEASURE?" Wahhh, wahhh, wahhh!
but I definitely wouldn't have enjoyed them very much.
Now here's where I see you taking "the opportunity to anticipate what you might be facing", and you could decide to spend that time some other way - not to avoid drinking, but because it sounds like you don't enjoy socializing with tipsy people.