Tuffgirl

Clink, I hear what you are saying - but this sentence is one I disagree with. I've been a part of SR for two years, and Al-Anon for 2.5 years. I have yet to be told that I am codependent and needed to leave my alcoholic husband. I don't understand why folks come here with the assumption they are going to be told to leave someone just because they are an alcoholic, and maybe codependent. Rarely do I see that, unless there is serious abuse going on or a person is complaining over and over again about things and folks get tired of the complaining and point out "you can leave anytime..."

Now being told you are codependent...well...that happens all the time, and why wouldn't it? Most folks who are dealing with addictions exhibit codependent traits. Its endemic to the addiction process. Doesn't mean someone is necessarily codependent, just that some of the ways they are acting/thinking/behaving fit that classification. I think its more of an awareness thing that pointing a finger and labeling anyone who comes here.

I agree with lillamy - you aren't one or the other - you are a woman who made a choice that works for you and your family. And that's awesome! Some of us here left active addicts. Some of us got left by them. Some are still with, and some are with addicts in recovery. Some of us had loved ones who died from this disease. But all of us have exhibited codependent traits in our lives and come here looking for resources, advice, strength, and hope. Many find that here, some don't. And some of us - myself included - are so grateful that we stick around to pay it forward.