I am having a very, very bad today. I am detaching from a substance abuser. And frankly, itīs driving me crazy. I do know that I am textbook codependent and do know what is stated in the OP is true. I can say that and realize it, but right now I am hurting very, very badly. I feel abused, traumatized, victimized and damaged. It pains me to no end. Most of all I canīt understand how and why I let that happen to me. I blame myself for not having walked away earlier. Not seeing the signs. There must be something very wrong with me if I kept coming back for more pain.