Thanks to all of you. I really needed to hear all this. It is sad because I know we love each other. My mother was like this. She only stopped when her Parkinsons Disease got the better of her. On her death bed she apologized. So much wasted time. I wanted so desperately to have the kind of mother I dreamed about. There is so much alcoholism in my life on my mother's side besides depression and being Bi Polar. I have never known of any on my husband's side except for his mother's uncle. This is something that happened to him the last 12 years. It just got the better of him. He is going to be 60. Isn't this a little old for him to be this way? I know he was getting unhappy with the marriage. I also thought Mid Life Crisis since infidelity happened as well. I know I deserve a better life than this but it is sad because I know he is a good person. When my dad died this summer, he was there for me the whole time and to the best of my knowledge, he wasn't drinking. Never smelled it on him or noticed it.
I guess you don't have to be a falling down drunk, am I correct ??
He can drink anywhere from 2 glasses of wine in one day to the almost the whole bottle.
He helps me with finances and although we are separated and he is seeing someone, I think his former lover, we signed all the papers to make sure I will get half his pension and in the event of his death someday, I will get everything, then our sons. So he is protecting my welfare.
Can you understand how sad I feel at times ? I HATE that people get addicted to any crap.