Thanks everyone. You are all right.
Fear figured heavily in my step 4. I do worry endlessly about how I appear to others. I think I have to work twice as hard to achieve the same results as everyone else because I'm not quite as clever. Self-esteem with a bit of who thrown in. While I looked at fear in depth I somehow overlooked the perfectionism part of who I am, but my sponsor won't let up on this.
It will be a hard habit to break. But I'm working on it.