Oooo, that burned me. He said it all snarky and had that stupid look on his face that said 'I'm starting something, wanna play'. I ignored him, I knew he was referring to me and my trust issues with him. Just when we had had a few good days, he decides to start again.
LOL. Yup, we had a big blowup three weeks ago when I found out about some things my RAW had done and hidden/lied about and she's been real good about not stirring up anything the past three weeks. Then Tuesday night she went right into something she knew would **** me off, hammering me with something I long ago made amends for and I got furious. I reminded her that while she's broken X number of promises and lied and yada yada yada, I have been sticking to my promises to her and have not given her any grounds for beating me up about something trivial that I had not even done.
....and a few days later, I'm starting to realize that was stupid of me. I should have stuck with "I don't understand what it is that you are angry with me about" instead of "How dare you come after me like this for something I am not even remotely guilty of after I've responded to your actual misdeeds with kindness and understanding!"
I over reacted. Need to let her know that. I also need to not take the bait. Alcoholics don't like to acknowledge that their actions have caused damage and sure don't like being reminded. It seems like if they feel like the spotlight is on them they will nitpick for things to put it on you and make you the bad guy....
...but I was stupid, I escalated this one and should have just stuck to the item she was griping at me for and calmly pointed out that I had not done anything remotely worthy of her getting mad at me. Whether or not I have been understanding and kind in the face of things that are just realllly hard to understand and forgive is not relevant. Sigh. ODAT..
Takes two to tango and I said "OK, let's dance damnit!"