Hi Pam,
It looks like the normal flow of time has abruptly handed you the baton and you ARE in charge. But it probably wasn't totally unexpected.
I'm the "recovered alcoholic" in my extended family so when family seeking help along that line comes up, I put on the "in charge" hat and, for that issue, put family relations in the background. It sounds like that's what your doing with your extended family about your parents. It can be tricky being a participant and a doctor at the same time, (I'm from a family of doctors) but it's not unusual - it must happen to every doctor at some point.
In the times I've been challenged as you are now, I turn that fear into
1- competent excitement to grab that baton and run like the wind directly into the challenges
2- acceptance of imperfection or even failure (it can be very educational)
3- and some of it I talk about and use sharing some honest anxiety to get people to help me, delegate authority to others.
Your Beast is loving that your drinking successfully so far.
Your AV is telling you booze is the perfect excuse for not managing.
Your AV is telling you booze is better than dabbling into the medicine cabinet.
Your AV is telling you that you are smart enough to keep out of trouble from drinking - unless you get called on it - then use it as an excuse.
All of these lines of AV thinking have their own logic, and people use them all the time. But your knowledge of AVRT sees through this temporary logic to the truth that connecting unpleasant changes in your life with getting zoned out on alcohol is counterproductive.
In the end we must rely on ourselves, but with me, it's enjoying loving and helping others, and seeing some of those people love and help me, that makes me happy. But I don't rely on worrying what others think about me nearly as much as I used to - and what a relief that is.
GT