Wow! This is exactly what I needed to read this morning too! I bumped into someone I haven't seen for 10 years yesterday, someone who hurt me really badly. They automatically moved in too close and seemed eager to reconnect, and I felt like a cold and hard person because I felt like I was standing inside a fortress and couldn't get out even if I wanted to (which I didn't). It made me feel really anxious!
Reading this right now I realise that my problem was always that I always felt a greater need to look after another's feelings no matter if they'd hurt me or not, and to hide the hurt. That's what got me into a lot of trouble back then and I felt out of control in my life - I had no place to stand of my own.
It's true we can't control anyone else in our life, but we can control who's in it! I don't know why it took me to long to get that!
Maybe that fortress feeling was a timely reminder that, even though it's still uncomfortable for me at times, the work I've been doing is good! I have no wish or want to return to the "good old days" )-:
Maybe I will be able to trust my own perceptions these days and not feel bad about the little voice telling me that something is up here. I need to respect that voice, and my own self too.
Thank you xx