Strangely, I dont feel aggressive anger toward him. Im not sure where the anger is going. It feels at times that I am angry at myself, or angry at "fate," I really dont know. I want to let it go...But I feel that I will never be able to accept that this is my life, that these are how these memories will be remembered when I am laying on my death bed. It seems unfair, cruel... I think the biggest issue, now that I think about it, is that I feel I cannot be at peace. I feel that I am not able to accept this. I am wondering if this could be permanent...or if these turbulent feelings WILL pass... If they do, what would I tell myself about these events to cope with them? It feels as though my life has a hole in it, that the most important things to me, were robbed and stolen away against my will and doing. I dont mean to sound like such a "victim" yet that is how it feels.