Sorry to hear things have been so bad for you Newbeginnings. The idea is to let go of that anger for your sake hun. Anger van twist you up inside. On a etheric level it's like carrying dark energy around with you that will ultimately only do you harm, not him. Forgiveness is the best way to clear that energy and let it go. This will probably feel impossible at the moment, but time does unimaginable things! Ten years ago I could have happily murdered my ex, now I just pity him. Ultimately we forgive others for the sake of our own peace of mind and health.