Hey there sweets and welcome. I think you havent gotten any relplies yet because you made your post early in the morning and it's also the weekend. But I read the whole damn thing
So, I think you know that the work you have ahead of you will be difficult and will take time. I just want you to know that you are important and your children are really the first priority here. You husband, I'm sorry to say sounds like a dangerous threat, a monster really, so you might want to consider taking steps to make sure they are safe from him.
He is an addict, sounds like he is completely tied up in his addiction. Addicts are self serving, pleasure seeking in all things. He doesn't care about anything else but his drugs and anything else that brings him pleasure, he would throw you and your children under a bus to get to his next fix. He is a liar and a thief and a cheater among other things.
You do not deserve it, as they say around the forum, you did not cause it, you can not control it, and you can not cure it.
A good start to unraveling all of this is to get educated about addiction. Please take the time to read the forum, there are stickies at the top of this section that will help you get started. I am sorry to say that the best course of action is probably to get yourself and your children safely away from this monster , you might want to consider no contact.
NA and/or counseling could be so beneficial for you, real time support is priceless, along with posting here on the forum and reading all you can about addiction and co dependency.
We are here, we care about you and your children and will help you in anyway we can.
You can heal from all of this chaos, so many of us here have or are in the process of doing just that.
I'm sure others will be around to offer you support and gentle advice soon.
Please keep posting and take good care. Katie xo