BHW
Just by your own words you are and have justified your actions. We are all human and have walked many of the same roads as you. That doesn't make the right.
If you ever personally want to get better you will take responsibility NOT justify. I truly understand what you are talking about but like you I was in the wrong and blamed and moved the spot light to another. The reality is what am I doing? That says more about me than 'well if he was in the same position he would have looked'... Kind of get the gist..
AG
Originally Posted by
BrokenHeartWife 
It is a very delicate matter when a family member calls someone's therapist to report on the client's behavior. It is also a very delicate matter when a family member reads notes from therapy sessions which should be solely the domain of the therapist and client. Even if that client is an alcoholic. Even if that client has a personality disorder.
Family members are supposed to let therapists know if their clients have become suicidal...which is what I did. As for also telling her that AH was taking other people's Rx's, well, too bad. He's doing this WHILE driving (he drove into a ditch last week), so other people's lives are in danger.
As for "reading notes' from therapy sessions....I was cleaning out MY CAR, and there was his psychiatrist report/diagnosis....not in an envelope or anything...right out there for anyone to see. Frankly, I can't think of any long-term spouses who wouldn't have looked at it. Believe me, my AH wouldn't have hesitated if the situation were reversed.
Over the last couple of months, I have more closely observed other couples. I had had "blinders" on before, not really thinking that other husbands do not behave as he does. As will nearly all who suffer from Personality Disorders, they can't accept responsibility for their actions, are frequently irrational, are frequently delusional, and are unbelievably impulsive/irresponsible.