Originally Posted by
dollydo 
"When I was a drunk, numerous girls referred to me as their soulmate.
They were each very codependent."
Over used Hollywood buzz word, you are right codies use it all the time. We codies confuse being loved with being needed.
Yes, I'm starting to realize that. My AH really "needed me", but in truth, he didn't love me; instead he deeply resented that he did need me so much. When he was living at his brother's home while in "daily rehab", his brother & SIL became his "guardians" - doing everything for him - cooking, cleaning, laundry for him. They even gave him money. When he's "done" with using one person, he moves on to the next person who will take care of him.
When I look back, he'd become very angry during the rare times that I was sick. I realize now that's because I couldn't take care of him then - and instead, actually needed some help.
It will be interesting when he returns home again from his Thanksgiving celebration with his brother and his rehab friends. Before he left for his brother's home, he yelled at me for "not taking care of your man" because he only had 2 pairs of clean underwear in his drawer and I was out of town on business and he had wanted me to go with him to his Open AA meeting the night before. Keep in mind that he filed for divorce in October - lol.
When I look back at his life before me, I now realize that he had gotten used to "latching on" to people ....in young adulthood, he latched onto his brother, then he latched onto a cult (yes!), then he latched onto a girlfriend and quickly moved in with her, then he latched onto a very capable ex-Navy guy who managed everything, then he latched onto me. I never realized this during our early times together.