I realized that my husband struggled with alcohol two weeks after we got married. There had been signs prior, but like you I felt confused and trapped when I put it all together.
I did not realize that I was not responsible for his recovery, but for my own.
I did finally get help, but the only regret I have is that I did not do it sooner. Here, Al-Anon, reading about addiction, counseling etc have all helped me immensely.
I am glad you are here, but sorry for what got you here.