Thanks to everyone for their kind and supportive words. I really appreciate this forum . . . esp. since it is so non-judgmental about methods of finding sobriety. I believe I've probably been experiencing low grade and sometimes severe depression for some time now. I've actually experienced varying degrees of melancholy since I was a child, but it is starting to get very counter-productive.
I am actively seeking help for my depression, which is, I believe, the source of a great deal of my pain.