Just thought I should give an update since you all were so helpful and kind. I have moved out, and my back is killing me from packing today. She says she has been up since I left three nights ago. I am fine with the leaving but as I was finishing up packing for tonight, I went out to tell her I was leaving, and it was just so sad. She is killing herself slowly. The heavy drinking, medications, not eating, not sleeping, all add up to one conclusion and that breaks my heart. I really do feel bad for her--but that doesn't change the fact that I cannot be there to save her. She has to do it herself or not at all.
I learned a lot here about how I was enabling her behaviors, and I watch her mother who lives there, and she is on hyperdrive enabling.
Nothing is going to change over there. I am thankful that I am out. The first two days felt so good, what a relief, but tonight I am just sad.
I actually spent Thanksgiving alone. My family live out of state, I don't know many people here, and the friend I am staying with went to visit his family. But the weird part was it might have been one of the best Thanksgivings I have had in years. It was so peaceful and all I had to worry about was my puppy and what to watch on TV. No stressing about not knowing what is going to happen from one minute to another.
Thanks again everyone. This board and all the people who shared their thoughts were tons of help.