I am currently in the Mayan riviera having some wonderful days.
I am feeling VERY GRATEFUL for not living with addiction anymore. Because it is my observation that you do not live with a person anymore, you live with addiction itself.
And with an active addict you will ALWAYS feel let down.
Anyway, bumping my own thread to say I still feel HP saved me from worse, and that I wish no one the pain of seeing how addiction takes away a person you knew and loved.
My life has gone on, I have met wonderful people, and I know the nightmare is over. I know I will not suffer as much as I did. I am willing to be humble now, to share what I feel, to seek help.
Now I feel closer to HP than I have ever felt. I have more faith that everything happens for a reason. Clinging to anyone or anything (or to an idea) is no fun. I was a sick person when I found toxic people attractive and I feel healthier asking for forgiveness for all I met then, when I was a raging codependent.. I did harm to others as well, enabling their ways. I, just like them, knew nothing else but abandonment & loneliness.
Life gets so much better!!!!!! (or perhaps it keeps being the same way, only that you went through so much you can appreciate beauty and the good in the world more...? in any case, the peace & gratitude I feel nowadays is worth all the past.)