Hi squeek
I hope you do come back - there's some great advice and support here
AA or not, I think if you want change in your life you have to be prepared to make changes - changes in where you hang out, who you hang out with, and changes in the way you think about alcohol and the way you deal with situations.
I don't regret any of the changes I made. I'm finally back to being the real me - not that drunken mess
oh ...and you say no. It gets easier - and if anyone doesn't accept your no, maybe you need to put some distance between you and those types of people for a while.
D