Need help with my alcoholic soulmate.
So...where do you start?
I married my wonderful husband two months ago. He had always drank (a 6 pack a night), but it never really got out of hand, until after the rings were slipped on each others fingers and the marriage license was signed.
We found out we were pregnant a month ago. He was happy, I was not. Well, I was worried mostly. I'm happy now, but still worried.
A couple of weeks ago, he was getting ready to go to work and he came back in the bedroom and said he didn't feel well, that he wasn't going to work. The first thing out of my mouth was, "Well, if you feel that bad you certainly don't need to drink while you are at home today." I went to work. Worried.
Not to my surprise when I came home, he had been binge drinking. Drunk. And I was pissed. How the hell are you going to sit at home and drink when we have a BABY on the way?? How irresponsible, how selfish. So, guess what? The next day he went to work, but got sent home because the boss could tell he was "sick" (what he told him the day before). He calls me and lets me know, while I'm at work and pregnancy hormones and all I get worked into a tangent and bawl like a baby. He says he thinks he has a problem and is going to get help tomorrow. Tomorrow. Today isn't good enough? What's "tomorrow"?
He goes to a doctor the next day and they diagnose him with depression and anxiety. Yep, I can see that, but what about this dependency he has on alcohol. They prescribe him some antidepressants. I do my research on the effects of mixing such prescriptions with alcohol. We talk about these things and he agrees he can't drink anymore.
Next day: no work, it's too wet. He stays home. I'm at work. He doesn't take his meds, and I go home on my lunch break to find him tipsy again. Really? What was all that ******** you fed me yesterday and was the trip to the Doctor a joke?
He starts his pills on Saturday. I'm freakishly afraid to leave him at home alone because I feel like his boredom will lead to a drink. He does good, does great. For the next six days, it's AWESOME.
He is off work today because of the holiday, and I'm at work. He has a son with a different girl and she texts me and asks if he has been drinking. I tell her I have no way of knowing because I'm at work. She says he stinks of it bad.
I have no way of actually seeing if this is true. He supposedly picked his son up to go hunting and I can't wrap my mind around why he would do something so stupid.
This man is a wonderful man. He is a great man. By far the best man I have ever been with. But his problem is driving me crazy. Not crazy for myself but crazy for this child inside me that is innocent to it all. I don't want my baby to have a drunk daddy. I don't know how to help him because I just end up crying and being mad at him. I don't know how I'm supposed to react to stuff. I don't know the things to say or not to say. What do you do?? Someone, please help me.