It's wonderful to meet you, Robin. Your post was not boring - it was honest and real.
I drank all my life, too - into my 50's. Always in the back of my mind was the same thought you had - 'one day this will have to end'. I knew what was coming, but I never reached out for help. I let myself be brought to my knees before quitting. I insisted I could control it by using willpower to have just a few.
We're glad you're here, Robin. You aren't alone - you have a whole family of people who truly understand. You can do this.