Lily1918

I want to grow in my walk with my god. I have no clue about what that looks like, except to be the strong independent woman of proverbs 31. I want to be the best mother I can be, and I want to be whatever god wants me to be. Right now in my sadness I don't know what that is, but I want to be lucky enough to grow old and to sit on my porch in my rocking chair, and watch the sunrise and be able to look back at my lifes circumstances both good and bad and be able to say god has been good to me and to be truthful, my name is Rebecca and yes I am a codependent and I've made horrible decisions, but my mother gave me my name because it means servant of god. I don't have short term goals yet except for the day by day going to work etc etc etc... but I do know this. I want to live up to my name. and I don't ever want this pain ever again. I want to be content in gods love and Im not. I want to know how far the east is from the west. I know I make no sense and Im breaking down and I sound foolish and Im such a textbook case... I hate all of this and I hate my choices. even the ones to break free.