Originally Posted by Lily1918

I am such a codependent. I need to get out of this relapse it's been going on for days now. I found him. he reached out to my sister. told her that he loves me with all of his heart. to tell me that he is okay. he did relapse, and that there is nothing he can say to make me take him back. to tell me that he misses me, but can't break the no contact rule, because I deserve better. I did a drive by his work to see if he made it today and found him outside. I asked him if he wants me to let go and walk away. I asked him if he was ever going to come home. he said yes he wants to come home but was afraid. I told him I love him with all of my heart and I forgive him for everything. he said he would call me tonight but I don't believe him. I know I shouldn't have gone to his work. it took all of my strength to turn the car on and leave. I want to camp out there until the end of the night, and talk to him when he gets off, he asked me to stay. I told him to go in get to work in call me when he was ready. I wish I hadn't gone. Im glad he is alive, but Im disappointed in myself, and now can't shake the hope that he will get clean this time. Im sorry everyone for not letting go... I guess its like them in thier addiction. if I really look at myself its because I don't want to, so maybe I don't belong here, but I would love to stay. If you guys will have me