I was someone who never felt AA was for me. I had gone to a few meetings years ago but obviously wasn't ready to stop drinking. And my drinking wasn't where it got to a few months ago (drinking most nights for over a year).
Three months ago I stopped completely after a big argument with my partner. I stayed stopped for 7 weeks on my own but then drank 3 more times (with shorter breaks) over the course of three weeks. I was/am afraid that I would go back to old habits so joined this site and became open to the idea of AA. Obviously just trying to stay stopped on my own wasn't working.
I've been to four meetings thus far and it definitely was not what I expected. I have even read the first part of the BigBook. Do I relate exactly to everyone and everything said at an AA meeting? No, absolutely not. But at each meeting there has been something said I can relate to. And, I do enjoy the actual meeting as you aren't really forced to say anything and can just sit back and listen.
I think it is powerful to sit in a room full of people who have admitted they have a drinking problem and couldn't control it (just like me). I have yet to work the steps and have been too shy to ask for a sponsor yet---but I will get there.
My shyness is killer--so after the meetings I still tend to just go and not say too much. I will get there. I figure it may just take me some more time. Was I afraid to admit that I had a drinking problem in front of others? Sure I was. But again, I am legitimately shy and this comes out in all sorts of social situations, not just AA meetings.
I may go to a new meeting tonight. So far I have attended women only meetings and would like to attend a few mixed to see if there is a difference.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
