When my ABF went to rehab, he made me mad while he was there. "Oh, I have to focus on myself, blah blah blah." It ended up that I was visiting him and ended up crying to his counselor (he wasn't there though) about what is the point of being sober if you are still going to not care about life? There are kids, bills, work, school, family, personal issues, etc. to work on, and he is doing the same thing being sober that he was doing being drunk. And at least while he was drinking, as horrible as this sounds, he was there every couple of days to help with the kids, so I could go to work or get homework done or do that little thing some people call sleep.
Anyway, the week before that I wrote him a letter. It was horrible, broke down every thing in the relationship he ever did to me, told him I hated him, I wish I never got pregnant by him, after everything I did FOR him and everything he did TO me, I would never forgive him, etc. It was really bad. It was 8 pages long. I told him about it but told him I didn't want to give it to him, but after he made me mad at the rehab, I gave it to the counselor. She thought it would impede his recovery. I said, "I really don't care, it helps mine." I said it's better to read it while he was there to have a counselor help him process it and all that, instead of getting ahold of it later and drinking over it.
She finally gave it to him 3 days before he got out. That is 2 weeks after I gave it to her. And you know what? I felt a thousand times better after I wrote it. I knew she wasn't going to give it to him right away, but the fact that SOMEONE knew what he did to me was enough. I am a writer. I write all the time, but this time was different because I was a hundred percent honest, and I knew he was going to read it at some point, and I was one of those people who always hid the real reason why I was mad because I didn't want to make things worse.
It took a couple of days, but there was this huge weight lifted off my shoulders since that day. And even now, he doesn't make me as mad as he used to. It's like the past is in the past now, where it belongs.
He really had nothing to say about it either. He said he got it and that was it. I didn't press the issue, because I really don't care what he thought about it, I wrote it for my own recovery.