KKE, please read "Codependent No More" by Melanie Beatty. It will explain so much of what you are thinking; why you are thinking it, and what you need to do (and not do).
Please remember you cannot control this/him. Nor did you cause his addictions. Nor can you cure them.
His addiction is controlling him. He has a disease. He is in denial about his addiction --- and part of that denial is what makes him blame you. Alcoholics/addicts blame other people and circumstances for the problems in their lives. The idea is that if other people and circumstances would just cooperate, life would straighten out.
This is delusional thinking. He is out of touch with reality. Not to say that he is psychotic as we normally think of psychotic, but he is in this area: maintaining his addictive activities.
When he is denying, he really believes he is telling the truth. He blocks from consciousness the facts that would point otherwise. So keep in mind that his denial is a symptom of addiction and it exerts a powerful pull on him. Do not question your own perceptions. Trust your inner voice; your instinct.
You are becoming addicted to him, and this is what is causing the obsessive phone calls. Think about this: if you're addicted to something (or someone, in your case), you can't stop thinking about it and planning for your next "fix." When you think he's going to engage you, you get a feeling of anxiety and excitement that doesn't let up until you see him. If your "use" is blocked, you become frustrated and panicky. Your obsession consumes a great deal of your time, energy and attention. This is addiction. Also called codependency.
You are so preoccupied with and so wrapped up in trying to protect, rescue and cure him that you are sending your own life into chaos.
This attempt to control will only give him more reasons to keep using; to blame you; and to turn away from you. And it will make your life unmanageable.
The best thing you can do is stay away from him. Don't give him a reason to blame you. Let him suffer the negative consequences of his addiction. If you are meant to be together, you will. But until he wants recovery, there is nothing you can do.
Again, Codependent No More will be a lifesaver for you. I promise.