Dogmamma, I went through a very similar thing and I still remember how miserable it felt. The good news is that it was a turning point for me. I realized that I could give up and cause my husband and children to lose their wife and mother and thankfully I was able to step back for a second and see that my thinking was so selfish. In fact, being selfish was at the route of my alcoholism. This was an Aha moment for me, and I made a choice to live and to be the best person I could be.
You are not going to let this disease get the best of you.
