Thumper... thanks for the post. Just to let you know.. i dont have children. My A does, from his previous marriage and i see what it did to them. As much as i love him, i believe his disease makes him incapable of being a good father (consistently) so i would not do that to a child, and as much as i want a child (im 36) i know that with him there is a huge chance it would be misery for the child or me as a single parent, and i wont allow that to happen.
i can be there for his children and help him love his children in the right way, im happy to be part of that, but i wont allow another child to 'maybe' be put through the same.
and as sad as this maybe, i dont feel i can totally blame him for my lack of children as we have only been together 2 years and i was childless at that point too.
thanks for reading and advising everyone.