I do not have children so I can't advise you there. I will say that many times my AH drinks and I cannot tell AT ALL. I know because for awhile he kept a bottle of vodka under the cabinet in the kitchen and I would look at it in the morning - then again once I got home seeing it drop as much as an inch and a half (big bottle) and absolutely zero effect that I could tell. Scary.
Hugs to you and I am sorry for the divorce but congrats on choosing a sane peaceful homelife for you and your kids.