Thanks for the kind words Germanos, NT, MB and Dee,
Sorry for the drunken moaning,. I guess selfishly it does helps me to know that somebody knows I'm going through a hard time. I know everybody faces difficult circumstances though and I was just slurring.
I'm coming back in, I tipped away the last of my cider this afternoon. I know when I post on SR I'm accountable so it helps me to stop drinking.
I feel pretty desperate emotionally right now. I know it's the effects of drinking around the clock though. It seems sadly I always have to get to this place to decide enough is enough.
My Ex girlfriend called today and I ignored it, I'm not physically in any state to talk to anyone today, nor am I emotionally stable to talk to her. It made me a little more upset.
I'll have to make more effort and figuire out how to stay stopped this time after thirty days, but right now not drinking today will be a success.