Florence, that info really helped. I'm not typically a "chess player" with people, but when it comes to my kids, I will do what needs to be done. Despite what he says (quack!) my AH typically follows my lead when it comes to parenting, so I think I will attempt to set up the most strict limits in the terms of the divorce and then use my judgement on each occasion. I dread having to cause a scene in front of the kids. My therapist said the same thing you did: I may just have to call the police. Ugh.
I wish I were like you, I wish I could KNOW when he's been drinking but I still cannot tell, and I think that he has had some dry drunk episodes that look so much like he's been drinking. I do have plenty of evidence of his alcoholism and I have also proven to be open to him spending as much time as he likes with the kids, as long as it's supervised. So I am fairly confident that the terms of the divorce will allow me to maintain the situation we have now.
While I hope the divorce prompts him to start a real recovery, I don't count on it. If he doesn't make the change, he will probably be a "non-functioning" alcoholic in a short time. It is so sad, and like you said, nothing I ever expected or would want for any of us. I just started therapy and I'm getting a lot out of it. That, plus SR, is bringing the light back into my life.
Thanks again and have a peaceful day.