I struggle with co parenting when ever my STBXAH shows up. I know that he loves his children (all three of them), but I just cannot trust him.
He recently told an elaborate lie to his lawyer and had a request written that he be allowed to see his children at his grandmothers home. I have been sticking to it, because I feel that an extra set of eyes (even if they are 86 ish year old eyes) is better. (she is in amazing shape for an old girl!) I allow him to have our children as long as I feel he is sober. He reeks of stale booze, but he is sober.
It is hard to leave them and so far he hasn't ventured too far with them because of his lack of car seats. I do not offer him the car seats and when he did request them, I said no. I am very uncomfortable with him driving them around.
I have taught my older two (4 and 7) how to dial 911.
Sometimes, he does act like he wants to be involved in their lives, but it is short lived. He has seen them a total of 4 times in two and a half months. His life is out of control, I can't Change that....and he doesn't want to.