The sky is not going to fall in on you tomorrow. It is OK to continue to process. You are here processing regularly and that is good. I don't recall you ever saying your wife is an active threat to your son so I don't think there is reason to panic.
It is sometimes a disservice to people to sensationalize and get all extreme, IMHO only.
Keep your son safe? Yes - of course. Your son needs a sober parent present and your aw is not that person. It has to be you, all the time, every day and night.
Here is the thing with what is happening. Your focus is on your aw, not the little boy. The little boy is not ignored or neglected but you go to your wife first. Your thoughts start with and continue to circle around and back to how to handle the alcoholic wife and your discomfort with your situation. I get that. I have been in that spot. I have discovered that like everything with the alcoholism dance - this too is like gripping sand. Without ever realizing it, it slides away. You open your hand and it is gone. I looked up and my husband was getting out of a car, with my kids in it, slurring his words. I came home from work, and he was 'asleep' while my twin toddlers were running around in the same diapers I left them in. The scary part - I didn't freak out. Sure I was upset but it circled around to being upset about alcoholism and how it was ruining everything. It was a weird disconnect. It happened slowly and without notice, like the sand, because my focus was in the wrong place.
The trick is - how do you push the alcoholic wife out of the mental picture so that your thoughts start with and circle back to your son and building a peaceful life whether you stay together or separate? What will it take for the original scenario to look like this.
Son cries. Dad gets up, goes to son and does whatever is needed until son goes back to sleep, and then goes back to bed. Dad does not go to or even ponder where mom is at or what she is doing. He does not concern himself with what she knows, realizes, or doesn't know, what type of alcohol she drank or how much. He has accepted that she is an alcoholic and that he parents his son with no expectation that she will. As if that is not enough - figure out how to not get eaten alive with resentments. Not normal and some would say not acceptable but that is what you get with an alcoholic.
That is a trick - one I did not figure out. I did get up every night and take care of the kids. Always me, every night. I did not check on or monkey with my husband. No discussions. I had accepted that part of it and my actions were focused correctly but my mental focus was always circling around and back to alcoholism and my dilemma of an unacceptable life. Something to consider. I didn't really see it until I was living separately for quite some time. I didn't see how that mental focus was blacking out so much of the good things there are about me.