Ohiodad wrote
I've tried that approach in the past - no go. I heard, "You're not the boss of me", "If you want to stop, that's your choice". Etc., etc., etc.
I've been around this forum long enough to know that you can't stop an alcoholic from drinking unless it's their choice.
That's absolutely true. I didn't suggest that you stop drinking as a ploy or attempt to get her to stop. I suggest it as a way for you to send her the signal that you think drinking is a serious problem: it is not recreational anymore. I suggested it also as a way of showing support.
It is not easy to try and quit when you are living in the same house as someone who drinks, even when they drink non-alcoholically.
As far anything you do having zilch effect: have you told her you do not want to live with an alcoholic anymore and would consider filing for a divorce on those grounds?