Faith - you are not alone. It's a horrible feeling. I know. It took a long time, many painful years for me to begin to accept the loss of my marriage and the man that I married. I'm in a better place now. I would be lying if I didn't say that the sadness and hurt don't creep up from time to time; but, the loss of breath doesn't seem to happen for me anymore. I've read that what we go through is very similar to the grieving process when a spouse dies. I don't know if it's true. For me, I needed to accept the fact that there is no fairytale ending. I'm here. I need to go forward and live life to its fullest for me and my boys. That's easier said than done. But, I can tell you I've been where you are and it gets better emotionally as long as we continue with our recovery and therapy. I know how you feel and I'm so sorry you are going through this. Know that we are here for you and walking right along with you.