Not sure I can go along with the above opinions re validity of drug testing. For those if us who have been manipulated by lies of our addict, left wondering if we would really recognize the truth if it hit us in the face, it's a tough decision. My 23 yo son did IP rehab in May, claims to be clean since then, but I always am second guessing if he's lying again. After all, I fell for it once. I don't think it's so obvious that he is using again, just some doubts in my mind, which seems likely to be doubtful given our history. I don't want to insist on a war over drug testing, but my doubts leave me enough room to not want to rock the boat if he is actually clean. And you know what, it's his job to make me trust him again thru his actions. If he hadn't been an addict, my doubts and inclinitation to test him wouldn't exist.
BTW, he is in his own apartment, trying to manage independently, but things are financially tight for him, and I'm not totally sure he isn't spending $ on pills. If he is remaining sober and is truly having problems meeting his bills because of car repair bill, other unexpected budget-blowers, as his parent, I would give him a bridge loan until he recovers. I would do that for any child of mine, at any age, provided that child is clean, sober, doing his/her best, and is just having a rough spot due to life's emergencies. However, if drugs are involved, all bets are off. So when I am considering helping my recovering (I believe) son, isn't it reasonable to be looking for some good reasons to help me decide?
Need some help on this one.