Drinking for me was always controlled. Every day, after work, 6 -12 beers, a half a box of wine or 7 to 10 drinks of liquor. I woke up every day feeling like garbage, but it was what I was used to. By 2PM, I was looking forward to going home to have my private happy hourS again.
One night after dinner at an uncles place, driving home down a dark country road, I was forced to take action to avoid a collision and ended up rolling my car about 5 times.
I was beat up, but fine and it didn't matter. What mattered was, my 14 year old boy and 17 daughter were with me. Thank God, everyone was unscratched bu me. At the hospital a police officer came in and asked to do a blood test. I agreed. I did not feel drunk and family members who came to the hospital said I seemed sober and totally coherent. But I could not help blame alcohol. It didn't cause the accident, but it didn't help. My kids could have been flung from the car and killed. The reality of my actions and the destruction was too much. I gave up drinking that night.
Guilt, shame and disappointment overwhelmed me. I thanked my God for sparing my children and also me, and I surrendered alcohol forever.
I bought 24 packs of bottled water and and stocked the fridge. From that night on, I am rarely without a bottle of water. In fact, as I type this, there's a bottle on my desk right now.
I also bought 12 packs of cheap brand lemon lime soda.
My manual and oral habit of sipping was met. I ate a more munchies, trail mix, peanuts, oatmeal cookies, fig newtons, graham crackers... just all sorts of munchies.
I met with a counselor for the DUI who really didn't do any good. My mind was made up. It didn't matter what anyone had to offer. My life was now water and soda... cleansing. The end.
My DUI was in August 2010. I am free of the addiction to alcohol because I do not drink. That's all there is to it. I don't drink. Doesn't have to be over complicated. Doesn't have to be made into a big drama. It's just a matter of choosing to not be any part of drinking alcohol. Replace booze with water and soda.
I don't go to bars, but have been around drinkers on a million occasions. No big deal. It's not a part of my life.
Over two years now and when I think of it, I think of feeling sick to my stomach, a taste that was sickly sweet that caused me to do foolish things and wake up wanting to puke until noon every day.
I actually logged on to leave Sober Recovery. I joined to help others, not myslef. I made my decision to part ways with alcohol that one night where I got my dui, destroyed my car and most of all, risked my childrens lives.
You just have to finish up your booze, get good and sick of it and decide to part ways with it forever.