Originally Posted by
soexhausted 
That the alcoholic thinks more about what you don't do for them rather then appreciate what you do.
I couldn't agree with you more on this sentence. That was my experience the majority of the time. Appreciation should come from a place of gratitude, ya know? And with the focus on everything you do wrong, or not up to their standard on how you should behave, there isn't much room for appreciation.
My ex wanted a divorce because he believed (based on my behavior, he says) that I wouldn't live with him again (we were separated). Seriously - that was his reasoning. And he literally went full on "don't confuse me with the facts" once he decided that. One week we were making plans on how to get back together, and the very next week he is angry and critical and doing his magical thinking about me and what I am doing and how I feel about it all, yet never once simply asked.
And he was 18 months sober at the time (so he said). My point in sharing this is to show you that even though she may be "sober", you would still have a long road ahead of you. I wish I would have ended things back in January 2011. Instead, I wasted another year + of my life, thrashing around with someone who so obviously didn't appreciate me at all.
Hang in there, it does get better!
~T