I understand.....it's crazy and sad when you realize how much they consume you thoughts and time but only bc we allow it! You think...really? What the heck! I have to remind myself most/all Active A are very selfish and regardless even if she isn't drinking still acting as if she is....she will be soon. She will realize you didn't call but this too will be your fault! Highly likely this will fall thru in disaster if like my XABF situation. It was horrible ordeal for everyone! This is a common situation or so I have learned. I think had I known how common it may have helped ease the rejection feeling but still painful no matter! It use to kill me thinking I was hurting....they were having a great time at my expense. I could tell you some horrible stories! Hang in there and try to remember ....you really don't want her problems.