Happy Birthday XAGF! I Should Not Be Feeling Sad.
Today is my XAGF birthday.
I have been no contact with her for over three weeks now.
Basically ever since she left me for another man that she met in sober living, two weeks out of rehab.
And in spite of all this the codependent in me feels guilty that I am not calling to wish her a happy birthday.
Fully aware that she is with him probably not even giving me a second thought.
My friend who is an alcohol/drug counselor told me flat out "Do Not Contact Her!"
She told me that she is expecting to hear from you.
She is a narcissist.
She will think more about you if you don't call.
If you contact her it will tell her that during this time apart you have been sitting around thinking about her.
And also that she still has a hold on you.
It will tell her that whatever happens between her and new sober boy which will probably end in disaster, you are still out there for her to run back too.
It is hard for me to believe that just three weeks ago we were making all kinds of plans on how we were going to celebrate her birthday.
And now she is celebrating with someone else.
I cannot let her think that she has me on a chain.
I must break this cycle or it will never end.
I must take care of myself
I will not contact her in any way.
But it still leaves me very sad.