Realization this morning
Today I start week 2 and I'm feeling good about making it through a week. I've had some urges I've had to fight off and sometimes I think about getting a bottle of wine out of habit and I have to remind myself, NO!
Well, this morning laying in bed at 5:30 am, I was thinking how great I felt making it through a week and then my thoughts started drifting...I thought "maybe my problem isn't drinking, it's just drinking wine" (because as hard as it was, I've accepted the fact that I can not moderate wine, once I have one, I'm done). I thought "maybe if I try a different cocktail I can be a "normal" drinker and just have a few in the evening", and then started thinking about what cocktails I could try, until all of a sudden it just hit me..."WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? Normal drinkers do not lie in bed at 5:30 on a Sunday thinking about what cocktails they can drink because they have a problem with wine". Clearly my problem is not just wine, my problem is drinking, period.
I have to accept that and keep a check on those thoughts, it's been easy to convince myself in the past, I can't go there this time.